May 19, 2015
May. 19th, 2015 04:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jojothemodernSomeone knocked on a door nearby- not on our door, just a door near enough for me to hear it- and it still made my heart drop, muscles stiffen, defensive chemicals rush.
My muscle memory is shot all to hell. Any knock on a door will have that effect- sometimes even hearing a door knock on TV can scare me. Even when I know there will be someone coming to the door the effect is there, dampened only by foreknowledge and preparing for the moment.
Add this to my more recent fear of sending/receiving mail and my waxing-waning aversion to interactions and I honestly don't know where the end of this will be. I don't know what to do.
My muscle memory is shot all to hell. Any knock on a door will have that effect- sometimes even hearing a door knock on TV can scare me. Even when I know there will be someone coming to the door the effect is there, dampened only by foreknowledge and preparing for the moment.
Add this to my more recent fear of sending/receiving mail and my waxing-waning aversion to interactions and I honestly don't know where the end of this will be. I don't know what to do.
